Planning A Bridal Shower

One of the most fun parts of being a maid of honor or a bridesmaid is planning the bridal shower. It is a chance to really be creative and show the bride how much she means to you. You and the bridesmaids are responsible for helping plan, set up, pay for, and attend the shower. If possible, it’s best for all the maids to get together to talk about the shower and what kind of shower the bride wants? Would she like a traditional ladies’ shower with cucumber sandwiches and tea, or would she prefer a more casual couples’ shower with barbeque and beer? Try to find out what other kinds of showers are being hosted for her, and you can feel free to ask for her input on the shower’s atmosphere and theme. There are several factors to consider when planning the shower: when, where, who, and how much.

WHEN: It’s of course essential that you consult the bride regarding a time frame for the shower; she is likely to be pretty booked in the months leading up to the wedding, so check with her for open dates before you plan anything. A very traditional bride may want to have her shower very close to the wedding, but a DIY (do it yourself) bride may prefer to have it earlier so that she has plenty of free time leading up to the wedding to complete her projects. You’re probably thinking, “…but, all she has to do is show up!” Ah, then you would be forgetting something very important: she has to find the perfect outfit. She may not have time to scour the dress department at Macy’s two weeks before her wedding, because she may need to be hot-gluing her homemade centerpieces or assembling her candy buffet! The important thing to remember: every bride is different, so don’t assume that the bride from the last wedding you were in is going to have the same preferences and expectations as this one. As far as time of day, most showers start anywhere from 1pm to 3pm.

WHO: Figuring out the guest list takes some thought. First you have to determine whether anyone else is hosting showers for the bride…perhaps an aunt or a friend of her mother’s. If this is the case, then you know that family members (if it’s an aunt) or family friends (if it’s the mother’s friend) are already being invited to a shower. In most cases, there is no need to invite them to another shower, with the exception of the mother of the bride and/or groom. It is a lot to ask of a regular wedding guest to attend and bring gifts to more than one shower and also the wedding. However, if your shower is the only one the bride is having, you’ll need to coordinate with the bride or with her mother, to find out what family members or family friends need to be invited.

WHERE: This can be tricky. Often there is a hometown, a college town, and/or a current city…which one do you pick? That depends on the WHO. If yours is the only shower, then hometown is the most likely answer. If your shower will just be the bride’s friends, then picking your college town or current city makes more sense. If you’re not sure, the bride probably has an idea of where she wants it; just throw a few suggestions at her and ask what she prefers!

HOW MUCH: You and the bridesmaids really should discuss budget very early on in the planning process. Typically the cost of the shower is simply divided equally among all the hostesses (which is usually the maid of honor and the bridesmaids), so you should consider the financial situation of all involved before making any plans. Budget can determine location, what food/drink is served, how many people are invited, and decorations. For the average twenty something bridesmaid, it’s reasonable to ask for $30-50 per person. If you have four hostesses, then, your budget could be from $120-$200. But every situation is different, so just discuss it with the bridesmaids.

Once you and the bridesmaids have the basics of the bridal shower decided, you can begin work on the fun stuff-like the theme and the food!

More Tips for the Maid of Honor

{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Shawna DeCamp August 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Hi My name is Shawna and I am the Matron of Honor. I am 26 and have never been apart of or involved in a wedding before so this is a challenge for me. The bride is my girlfriend but is also like a sister to me. Her taste is very specific and particular so this bridal shower has to be fabulous! There only 5 total for the bridal party excluding the groomsman and his entourage. Please help. P.S. I should menion that I don’t have a creative bone in my body.

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Bonnie September 14, 2010 at 10:10 pm

If her taste is very specific, then it should be easier because you know what she wants. I would ask the other bridesmaids for help with creativity. I threw my first shower for my sister-in-law and it really helps making a list of what you are doing: lingerie, bath and body, kitchen, spices and recipies, etc. then figure who you are inviting (depending on the party choice) you don’t have to have a theme, it can be just a shower at a house or church. What do you want to eat?: sandwiches, cheese and crackers, punch, etc.
Send out invitations, you and the other girls show up one hour early to set out all the food, and that’s it. normally make it 2-3 hours long, have it like a come and go.

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Liz September 26, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Hi my name is Liz and I am a Maid of Honor for my best girlfriend’s wedding. I am 19 years old and I have never been involved in a wedding party before(unless you consider flower girl at age 5). I am unsure about how to go about planning the Bridal Shower and I am the only Bride’s Maid because the Bride choose to have a very small wedding party. Any tips on how I go about planning a fantastic party for my friends…all by myself?!

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Bonnie September 28, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Liz,
Wow, just you as her bride’s maid. I threw a shower for my sister-in-law and what I did was asked my cousins, aunt, and two ladies from our church. It worked out because I already knew that the two ladies wanted to help and my family of course said yes. I was going to throw it by myself but I ended up with seven of us total. I would just ask friends and/or family to help you. Just give them a call and say you are throwing a shower and wanted to know if they would like to co-host with you. Get between four to six women total (never ask the mothers of the bride and groom to help unless they offer, they have other plans to take care of with the wedding) Get with your bride and ask who she’s inviting to the wedding, it is only fair to invite people to the shower if they are invited to the wedding. Being invited to the shower but not the wedding is very awkward.

After you get your hostesses, come up with what you want at the shower: food, drinks, etc. and then ask the ladies who would like to do what? Save your receipts so that afterwards you can calculate how much everyone spent and then the people who paid the most can get reimbursed from the ones who paid the least.

Normally the hostesses purchase a hostess gift which is something the bride and groom want but more than likely will not get because not one person will be able to spend that much. That you can also include with the shower expenses. I bought the hostess gift for my sister-in-law and then after the shower totaling all the expenses I was able to get reimbursed.

It is very easy once you get started. First get others to help you, then have a date, time, and where it will take place, then who you are inviting.
You can just be simple, have food and presents, you don’t have to play games unless you want to, talk with other potential hostesses, more than likely one of them will have thrown a shower in the past.

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Kris October 29, 2010 at 1:14 am

This website says to ask for $30-50 per person?? Am I the only one who thinks this amount is way too low? or even the 120-200 for a 4 woman bridal party is low. I am currently the MOH for my sister’s wedding and the shower is going to cost about $1800 including the location, food and drink, favors, and a shower gift. Not to mention invitations and decorations! We will have about 75 women at the shower (That is an estimate, we are inviting 92). There are 10 of us in the bridal party, including my mother who is offering to help out, and I was planning on asking the girls for $150-165. Is this unreasonable?? It sounded like way too much money and I was worried about asking for too much from the girls. I didn’t want to come off as a crazy lady demanding money from them. But we have a large family and we are paying $20 per person for the food and drink at the location.

I would appreciate any feedback here. I am also in another wedding soon where we are having the shower at the Bride’s mother’s home so I understand that the cost for that shower will be much lower and more reasonable. But with a guest list of 75-90 people there is no way we can host this shower at home.

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Bonnie November 2, 2010 at 3:51 pm

Kris,

Showers tend to just a fun gathering; it does not have to be pricey. If you are going to go all out then I am assuming that this is the only shower that your sister is receiving. My sister-in-law had about five showers and they were probably 20 people each. They were all from different hostesses. For her she had one with just friends, another with her side of the family, another with the groom’s side of the family, and then another with friends of the family.

It depends on where you are also from. I’m from Texas so with the average income for people here plus the income of single women (who are normally asked to be bride’s maids) $150 is a lot of money for a party. However if they spend that much on the shower and hostess gift, that is considered their wedding present to the Bride and Groom and are not expected to give a wedding present at the ceremony. You don’t have to provide a meal for your guest; normally h’ordeuvres, cake and punch are acceptable. Normally a hostess gift is also suppose to be something that is on the expensive side because most people will not buy the bride and groom an item that is $150 unless they are close friends (practically sisters) or immediate family and the gift is from the husband, wife, and three children. So you typically get the most expensive item for the couple and divide that amongst your hostesses and the price is very reasonable.

Now if the Mother of the Bride is okay with spending $150 each, then you all should be fine and that should mean the average hostess doesn’t see $150 as too much. Take the average pay per hour and divide it with $150, how many hours/days did that person work to make that much money (after taxes is taken out). How many hours will the party be is it worth it. Always shop smart. My cousin is a student studying to become a graphic designer, she hand made all the invitations and they looked better than something we could have bought. Invitations get thrown away over time.

Ask your co-hostesses personally on how much they are willing to spend. Sometimes you might just have to pay the extra amount if they simply can’t afford it. I’m in two weddings (one I’m the M.O.H.) My bride to be is making our dresses and the total cost for a custom made (which is way better than factory made) was $30 for the material and the bride’s time to make it is part of her gift to us, the other wedding I’m in, my dress will cost $145, two other weddings I was in was $180 and the other $110. How much are these girls already spending for this wedding? These are all rhetorical questions.

When in doubt talk with your other hostesses, they are there to help and they should contribute an equal share in the labor/time you are putting into this shower. We’ve divided our task: one covers gift, one food, drink, invitations, decorations and then we all bring our receipts, total them up and divide and who ever paid the least reimburses the others so that it is all balanced.

Hope all goes well. Don’t stress, talk with your girls and talk with the mothers of the bride and groom. They will have lots of insight.

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Kris November 4, 2010 at 10:41 am

Bonnie, thanks for the input! This, of course, will be her only shower. It would be much easier if she was having a few, but this is the only one. I think it is different in each part of the country, but around here the Bride usually only has one including all female wedding guests, or two (one with Bride’s side one with groom’s side). Also, it is traditional here to have the shower catered, and with a full luncheon, not just h’ordeuvres. I know every shower and every budget is different, I was just wondering if this seemed like a lot of money for the total amount of women at the shower (75-80) and all that is included (full buffet menu and open bar with beer, wine, and punch).

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Marie February 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I’ know I’m over a year late but… “$30-50 per person” should probably say “$30-50 per attendee”. $1,800/75 attendees = $24 per person. $180.00/bridesmaid would cover the cost of the shower.

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Sophie November 3, 2010 at 10:52 pm

Hi my name is Sophie. :)
My girlfriend is getting married in fab 2011 and I’ll be the maid of honor.
I’ve never been involved in wedding, and have no idea what bridal party is like.
I hope you can answer me on some questions :)
Should i throw a bridal party on a week before the wedding date?
Should we (all the bridesmaids) get a present for her like baby shower?
Is there some traditional events or important procedure in bridal party?
I’m thinking of rent a room in a bar so we can enjoy some drink :)
Thank you and have a great day!

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Kris November 4, 2010 at 10:49 am

Sophie, I am not sure what the traditional Bridal Shower is like where you live, but where I am from we usually throw the shower about 2 months prior to the wedding. You can opt to get separate gifts for the Bride or chip in as a bridal party on one of the more expensive gifts. Are the Bride and Groom registering for gifts? If they already share a home and are not registering for gifts I think it is acceptable to have the shower closer to the wedding date, like 2 or 3 weeks before. We usually do it a couple months before so the couple has time to set up their gifts in their new home and make any returns needed well before it gets too close to the wedding and their schedules are too hectic. We also thought about renting out a private room in a bar. Just think about the kind of bar it is and the kind of guests that are being invited. If grandmom is coming would she mind it being at a bar? But having a few drinks I think is a great idea. Most showers are held on Sundays (around here anyway) but we are having my sister’s on a Saturday so we can all go out afterwards to a bar that night. You came to the right place if you are a newbie… this site has a lot of great information on it. Make sure to talk to the other bridesmaids and see what they think about location for a shower and a date that would be good for all of them. Also, if you are throwing a bachelorette party separately, I would suggest doing that 2 weeks before the wedding, never the week before.

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Michelle November 7, 2010 at 2:47 pm

My sister is getting married and has asked me to be her maid of honor. I was going to start setting up her shower but it seems that my mother has taken charge and every idea that I have, has been shut down because its either not good enough or not what my sister would want. The only question she has asked me if I would rather want chicken or veal on the menu……Any suggestions on how to resolve this?

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Jasmine December 9, 2010 at 8:11 am

My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor next year. I have never been a maid of honor, or involved in any wedding for that matter, and quite honestly, I am starting to worry that she’ll regret asking me. She has not told me what all she expects yet, but I would like to throw her a bridal shower. I was thinking about having it at someone’s home, and asking others to bring food (haven’t decided whether to have a theme or to be more lenient). I would definitely need help planning and paying for everything, but the only thing is, I don’t know any of her other friends, and I feel like it might be awkward approaching total strangers for help. And as for location, everyone lives so far apart in this region that I’d be worried people wouldn’t attend something outside a 20 mile radius. Any advice?

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Jamie January 12, 2011 at 11:52 pm

My name is Jamie and my sister chose me to be her maid of honor….. I am only 16!! I have only been to One wedding in my entire life and i was the flower girl… when i was 6!! I have no clue what to do or what to expect! I’m a nervous wreck.. I blow it off like I’m not nervous in front of my sister but inside i am all messed up.
What do I do?
What should i expect?
How do you make a good speech?
How can you calm yourself down?

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admin January 26, 2011 at 6:09 am

Hi Jamie,

I have answered all of your questions on an entirely new page! You can read the answers here. Congrats on being the Maid of Honor!

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Megan January 24, 2011 at 6:41 am

Alright, I’m brand new to this. My best friend since I was 7 had told me when she first got engaged that I’d be a bridesmaid, which I kind of figured. She just announced today to all the bridesmaids who was who for the wedding in June, saying she chose me as her Maid of Honor. I’m only 19, but I have hosted bridal showers, well at least helped my mom host a bridal shower for a family friend. So, I wouldn’t sweat it so much if it wasn’t for the fact that the bride, myself, and my sister (one of the other bridesmaids) all live in Georgia, and the brides two older sisters live in Virginia, (I know at least one does) and I think even the the groom’s sister is up there, who are also bridesmaids. I am also a broke college student who has been looking for a job, but so far no luck (thanks economy). Should I wait until we are all up in Virginia, where the wedding will be held, and try and figure out something not so costly there? Or should I try and figure out something down here?

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admin January 28, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Hi Megan,

Hope the Bridal Shower planning is coming along well. We have posted your question and answer here.

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Olivia February 1, 2011 at 3:59 am

My best friend is getting married in June, and this has only been decided about a month ago. Everything is happening so fast, and not only that, but I, being the Maid of Honor, have been delt the task of planning her ‘friends-only’ bridal shower…in less than a month! I love hosting parties so I am not worried about ideas, themes, or decorations; what I am worried about is that, while there are three other bridesmaids, I dont think I will be getting much help from them. One is the Brides little sister who is still in high school with no job, asking her for money or help with the party would be like asking her mother (who is hosting her own Bridal shower for the bride), the other is our other best friend, but she is a poor collee student who lives 3 hours away from us and will probably not even attend the Shower anyway, and the third is someone I have never met but has just gotten out of a tough time in her life and is not financially stable.

Therefore I am left footing the bill, and planning, alone. My question is this, since it is suppose to be 30-40 dollars a person, would I come off looking cheap, or uncaring if that is all I spend?

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Christy February 3, 2011 at 3:12 am

Hello, I have a quick question. The bride has chosen to only have one shower, so its in our hometown (in Florida), however most of her family lives up north (Pennsylvania). On the shower invites I asked for regrets only by either phone or email. When recieving an email is it proper ettiquite to respond to the sender letting them know I appreciate their time in respectfully declining and look forward to meeting them or seeing them at the wedding, as I would do when on the phone?

Thank you in advance for your help.

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Alexa February 25, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Hey im am sooo lost like i have no clue what im doin when its comes to this stuff my sister is gettin married April ninth and im her maid of honor im only seventeen and have no job. There are three bridesmaides besides myself and i have been told that the maid of honor pays for the shower so i am slowly raising money but i need some good ideas for shower that are cheap but not tacky …. She is a very out going person and likes things n order she is a Texas girl all the way … I guess what im sayin is HELLLLLPPPPPPP !!??!

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Veronica May 19, 2011 at 3:46 pm

So, I truly appreciate this site, BUT, I’m running into a completely different issue. I was asked to be the MOH but most of the bridal party lives in different states, myself included. So far, I’m CLUELESS, and since this is the first time my girl is a bride, so is she! The wedding will be taking place in a different state from where the bride-to-be resides so I don’t know what my duties are with arranging different things. I want to be there for her as much as possible, but I just don’t see how it’s going to work out…(I guess with MUCH faith and prayer and WORK!) I have an idea of where to start now for the events, I just don’t know how to put it all together…

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Mia May 20, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Hi, I’m maid of honor for my sisters wedding and because of time constraints, we’re trying to knock out both the bridal shower and the bachelorette in one day! Because of what my sister wants, it’s looking like dinner at a restaurant and then a club afterwards. I’m thinking dinner will be expensive. Is there any rules against asking guests to pay their share of the dinner meal?

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Amanda July 27, 2011 at 3:32 am

Mia,
Check out restaurant.com. They may have the restaurant you had in mind on the list. This way you could buy a discounted gift certificate for the cost of the meal. A word of caution: VERY CAREFULLY read over the rules and exclusions the restaurant lists. Each one is different and may not work for what you have planned.

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linda August 12, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Honestly, I think you will break your wallet if you were to pay for everyone. Am pretty sure some people are intending on paying for their own meal anyway. Save your money and buy your sister and expensive gift.

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ASHLEY August 3, 2011 at 12:32 am

I am the maid of honor in my best friends wedding. The wedding party consists of 8 of us girls 5 in which are her step/half sisters. They all planned the shower without me while i was camping and “split” everything even except I have the task of everything that is expensive. Money is no issue to them but for me it is. My one question is am I responsible for the postage expense for the shower invites or is that something that should be split between us all?

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linda August 12, 2011 at 2:39 pm

So my friend is getting married. No one is throwing her a shower so I thought it will be a great idea to just throw her one. Am not a braidsmaid or anything like that but we were roommates in college and I really love her. She’s an awesome person and am a great event planner. Is it okay? Also is a paintball party a good theme? She’s in the military so I know she’ll like something like that.

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Beverley September 28, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Dear Linda
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I was in the same situation last year, one of my closest friends got engaged and they decided to get married in 4 weeks time. She has 2 sisters but the one was also planning her own wedding for February and was occupied and the other one just had her 2nd baby so they didnt have time. So I decided that EVERY bride should have a bridal shower, it only happens once for most. I called her, told her that I am planning her a shower, got her guestlist for the wedding and then started planning. It was great fun, a huge success and she was sooooo happy.
I decorated everything using her colourscheme for the wedding, we had a continental breakfast, played some games and we also had a few bottles of champaigne. I think that if you talk to her, she will tell you if it’s ok even though you are not a bridesmaid. It all depends on the bride. good luck!
Bella

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katie September 17, 2011 at 5:54 am

My friend is getting married and her sister if the MOH. The bridal shower occurred a few weekends ago. The bridesmaids hosted the shower. As a bridesmaid I worked very hard on this surprise shower. The MOH did not help set up, clean or clean up after the shower. She showed up 20 minutes before the party started and sat there while me and another bridesmaid were still setting up.In the end we all divided the costs and asked everyone to pitch in. The MOH stated that she was not going to pitch in bc she had to coordinate/pay for invitedand party favors for the bachelorette party. She also stated that she was not supposed to help with the shower at all bc she is family.
Is this right??
is this right?

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Katie-Anne September 25, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Hi. My name is Katie-Anne and I am planning a bridal shower for my best friend. There are three bridesmaids in total, but I am the only one who lives locally and has funds to contribute to the shower. I have no idea where to start, especially when it comes to arranging food as the bride basically only eats chips. She wants nothing to do with planning the shower and is leaving it totally up to me. Please help!! x

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Melissa October 13, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Hi, My friend is getting married but it is a small private wedding- 12 people total at ceremony and reception including the bride and groom. I am her MOH and am trying to plan her shower. With such a small number of guests, is it okay to invite others as long as I explain to them that the bride is having a private wedding? Also, I am the only one in the bridal party so expenses will not be shared with anyone else. Am thinking of a more traditional appetizers and champagne afternoon shower at my family’s house. But if there are only a handful of people coming, maybe this would be awkward and too small for games? The guests will likely me myself, the bride, best man’s girlfriend, future mother in law, mother in law’s friend, and pastor’s wife (a cousin). That is an eclectic group of people and ages! Any ideas? Oh, and I live out of town so the only home that I can use to throw the shower at would be my parent’s.

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Melissa October 13, 2011 at 8:01 pm

I forgot to add that the wedding is a black tie event so I don’t know if I should match the formality in decorations or do something totally opposite. Am waiting for feedback from the bride.

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Candice October 28, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Melissa,

I personally think the shower should be a little more laid back than black tie. Leave the formality for the wedding. As far as who to invite, I’d wait for the bride. If it’s a small shower, I’d say that’s fine. If you think all the bridal games are “silly”, I would do like a wedding shower bingo or Google wedding shower ice breakers. I think that traditional appetizers and champagne are fine. I’d have some non-alcoholic choices as well. I’ve got a lot of great ideas for decorating from Pinterest and just using my great friend Google!

Hope this helps!

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Elizabeth November 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm

This is my first time being MOH and I found your website super helpful. I have a question about bridal showers. So you said to only invite people to one shower. The brides family is hosting one shower and a friend told me the shower I host could be more of just close girl friends. The main problem with this is I am not sure all of her close girlfriends are going to be invited to the wedding. If they are not invited should I invite them to the shower?

Second, my friend also told me it was okay to do the shower and bachelorette party on the same day, is that true? Thanks so much!

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Kelly December 2, 2011 at 2:58 am

I read somewhere that people not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the bridal shower.

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Kelly December 2, 2011 at 2:56 am

Hi ladies! My friend is getting married in June and I am her MOH. I would love to give her a great bridal shower but truth is, I don’t have the money too. She said she has about forty five people to invite to the shower. Her mother said that she will give $1,000 towards the shower. But I am planning it. Will this be enough for a shower? Should her mom even be paying for it or should I. I have never been to a wedding let alone a bridal shower so I don’t know what I should be doing. Does anyone have Any ideas to keep the cost low but also have a good shower? I was also asking the other bridesmaids to help pay but I really don’t know them all too well too ask for money from them. Thanks for your help!
MObey from them.

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Kate December 6, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Hello, I’m my best friend’s MOH and she is not getting married until October 2012, when is a good time to meet with all the bridesmaids and discuss all this stuff? I don’t want to do it to soon or to late? I am 23 and i have never done any planning of a wedding shower etc. before. I will be using your site as my guide alot :)

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Liz December 27, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Hi! My brother is getting married. He and the bride have decided that they don’t want any wedding party. The bride is an only child, so my mom keeps telling me that my sister and I are the ones responsible for hosting the shower. To add complication, the mother of the bride works at Williams Sonoma, and she have gotten them everything they’ll need for their kitchen- and then some! They aren’t registering anywhere, because they really don’t think they need anything, and they are hoping people will just give them money (they are trying to save up to buy a house). They are a really laid back couple, and I personally think they are only having a wedding (as opposed to eloping) to please all the family. Do we throw them a shower or not?
Thanks,
Liz

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Taryn December 30, 2011 at 5:48 am

Hi Kelly,
I am also a first-time maid of honor. It’s a big responsibility, don’t feel too overwhelmed. I think that each bride’s situation is different and there is no “cookie cutter” shower to plan for. If the bride’s mother is willing to help out I think it’s COMPLETELY fine to accept her generous offer. Given most young girls financial situation, I think that’s fine! Don’t be afraid to ask for help from the other bridesmaids…it’s part of their duty. If you don’t feel comfortable maybe try sending an email…that’s what I have been doing! Email can be easier. My brother got married recently and I was in that wedding (not the maid of honor) and I spent $450 just for the shower/bachelorette party. So where I’m from, it’s not uncommon to spend a decent amount of money for these events. In terms of keeping it on the inexpensive side, think about doing a BBQ at someone’s house. I am considering doing this for my best friend, who quite frankly would love this down-to-earth shower. That way you aren’t paying for a venue and you can make the food/decorations yourself. I think if you stay true to the bride and her wants then you are on the right track!

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Matt January 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Hello,
I am posting this as a concerned and torn fiancé, as the shower planning has taken a couple of weird turns. My fiancé is stressed about it and here is why- Her Mom. Matron of Honor, Aunt (who she is close to), and Cousin (bridesmaid) have no money to contribute to a shower (for various reasons). My Mom and Sister (also a bridesmaid) would like to pay for the shower because they appreciate and understand that other people have financial constraints that prevent them from doing so. I have read lots of websites about proper shower “etiquette”, and I can find examples of many ways that showers are handled. My question/point of concern is how does my family go about this and not offending or overstepping her family or Matron of Honor?

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Alexis Yoskovich January 14, 2012 at 6:33 pm

My sister is living in Florida, and her wedding will be a “destination” affair in January of 2013. I am the MOH, and have just recently graduated from school, so money is tight but I want to give my sister an awesome shower, her Godmother and MOB have also offered to help with expenses, but have some questions. She is from Michigan and all her family and friends and MOB family friends are from Michigan as well. Being as when the wedding is planned for, first week of January after most schools are in session, there are a majority of people that will be unable to travel down for the wedding, but have asked about attending the shower, almost as a “mini “wedding reception if you will. Is this acceptable?
Also, the bride and groom have registered at 2 stores that promote internet shopping. The bride will be flying in for the shower and won’t be able to lug the gifts back via airplane, should I somehow on the invite convey this situation to the invited guest, as to make it easier on the bride? Suggesting to the guest that they can have the stores ship directly to the couples home, and have a card with a picture or description of gift for her to open?
For a shower of approx 50 people, do you have “door prize” for all or how is that broken down?

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Lara January 15, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Hello!

I am one of two MOH at my best friends wedding. Should be easy enough however other MOH is very NON girly and never has time to plan. The other two braids maids are not very involved. One being her middle school sister the other being a friend who is broke (no job) and lives in another city. Any suggestions on how to involve everyone without having to wait on responses? I don’t want to seem as if I am making all the choices without consulting. Also I have a stupid question. I am buying very expensive picture frames to set out on a table of the couple. I am a photographer in training and will be having some pictures they haven’t seen. My question is… Is it expected for those frames to be given as gifts since its at their wedding shower? (shower is at their house) I would like to keep them for future baby, wedding showed etc. what is the etiquette

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Sabrina January 17, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I am planning a bridal shower for my sister. One of the bridesmaids is putting together the invitations and another friend is allowing us to use her house for the party space. What is the correct etiquette in regards to the invitation (e.g. “Hosted by her sister”, etc)? Are they considered hosts because they have contributed to the event?

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Sade' February 1, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I am a BRIDE……I am getting Married April 28, 2012. I took the Quarter off from school to plan our wedding. I feel bad because no one is planning my Bridal Shower or Bachelorette Party??? What am I suppose to do? Plan everything, pay for everything and give myself a Bridal Shower? My Matron of Honor works alot, and she doesn’t have time to do much at all. My Maid of Honor is young with a Family (New Baby)…HELP ME WITH ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!

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Theresa Washburn March 18, 2012 at 11:27 pm

May I suggest your fiance . Nothing wrong with that. It only has to be someone who cares enough. And Im sure he does.

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Liz March 16, 2012 at 4:23 pm

My mother, sisters and I are planning a wedding shower for my niece. I know we are supposed to list the hostess/hostesses on the invitation, but how do we word it when there are 4 of us?

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Josie March 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Our bridal shower was cancelled due to inclement weather. We could not reschedule the shower due to time constraints. Is it proper etiquette for the invited guests to give the bride-to-be their shower gift, even though the shower was cancelled? Thank you.

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