How do you host a bridal shower when the Bride to be lives in a different state? Here is a great question and our answer:

Alright, I’m brand new to this. My best friend since I was 7 had told me when she first got engaged that I’d be a bridesmaid, which I kind of figured. She just announced today to all the bridesmaids who was who for the wedding in June, saying she chose me as her Maid of Honor. I’m only 19, but I have hosted bridal showers, well at least helped my mom host a bridal shower for a family friend. So, I wouldn’t sweat it so much if it wasn’t for the fact that the bride, myself, and my sister (one of the other bridesmaids) all live in Georgia, and the brides two older sisters live in Virginia, (I know at least one does) and I think even the the groom’s sister is up there, who are also bridesmaids. I am also a broke college student who has been looking for a job, but so far no luck (thanks economy). Should I wait until we are all up in Virginia, where the wedding will be held, and try and figure out something not so costly there? Or should I try and figure out something down here?

Planning a bridal shower when the bridesmaids are scattered across the country can be a challenge. There are a couple options to consider. You can host the main bridal shower in Georgia  because this is where the bride lives, she probably has many friends and family that would be able to attend. Still send invites to the other bridesmaids, even if they are unable to attend. The problems with holding a bridal shower in Virginia the week of the wedding include, #1 planning an event during a time that is already busy, #2 potentially fewer people to invite, and #3 you may be less familiar with the area and what is available for the party. When you get to Virginia, you can hold a bachelorette party for the bride which will include all the bridesmaids. The bachelorette party is usually a smaller, laid back event; so, planning that for Virginia should be easier. Remember, you don’t have to do this on your own. Ask the sisters who live in Virginia for bachelorette party ideas. They will probably be happy to help you plan a party for their sister.

Bridal showers don’t need to be too costly. One way to easily cut down on costs is to host the shower in somebody’s home. Invitations can be found at a good price at places like Target and Wal-Mart. Keep the decorations simple: balloons, streamers. Paper plates and cups come cheap. Flowers are a nice touch but will cost a bit extra. As far as food goes, you can either order food from a restaurant, deli, bakery or make the food yourself, gathering as much help as you can from your sister and the bride’s mother. Keep the food simple: finger foods, a salad, cake and ice cream. Perhaps your sister or a few of the other bridesmaids will be able to help with the cost.

Good luck with the planning!

We receive questions almost daily and thought this question needed to be answered in a new post:

My name is Jamie and my sister chose me to be her maid of honor.. I am only 16!!  I have only been to one wedding in my entire life and i was the flower girl… when i was 6!!  I have no clue what to do or what to expect, I’m a nervous wreck. I blow it off like I’m not nervous in front of my sister, but inside i am all messed up.

• What do I do?
• What should i expect?
• How do you make a good speech?
• How can you calm yourself down?

First off, congratulations on being chosen to be a maid of honor! It is a special honor, although it can feel overwhelming at times. I understand your nerves, but just know that you can do this! Often the maid of honor puts more stress and pressure on herself than the bride would ever expect. Be determined to enjoy this experience and not allow stress to take away from the fun of it! The overall job of the maid of honor is to be a support and help to the bride in whatever area she needs. It could be anything from helping her make invitations to wedding dress shopping. Offer your sister your assistance, and let her know you will be there for her.

What do I do? – Typically, the maid of honor is the one who hosts and plans the bridal shower and bachelorette parties. You can throw the shower at your own home or a friend’s. Ask your sister who she would like to invite. I wouldn’t suggest making the list of invites on your own because you don’t want to risk leaving out someone important to your sister. Include where she is registered on the invitations. A bridal shower usually includes food, a few games and the opening of presents. Make sure you have someone writing down who each gift is from-this comes in handy later when the bride writes her thank you cards. The maid of honor is also responsible for throwing a bachelorette party-a celebration of the end of single-hood. This usually happens a week or two before the wedding. Often, it will be just a few days before and can depend on how tight the wedding week schedule is. Again, consult your sister regarding the best time and the list of guests. Usually, the bachelorette party is a smaller group, including the bride’s closest friends.  Remember, you don’t have to do this by yourself! Feel free to ask the other bridesmaids for their ideas and help.

What should i expect? – On the day of the wedding, help your sister get into her dress. Also help with her makeup if needed. On her wedding day, the bride should not be bothered with extra details or questions.  You are the barrier between your sister and anyone else. If you don’t know the answer to the florist/caterer/DJ’s questions, find someone who does (usually the wedding coordinator). All throughout the ceremony (especially before she walks down the aisle), it is your job to make sure that the bride’s train and/or veil are straight, and not a tangled mess. There’s nothing worse than a bride tripping on her own train! You will hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.  Oftentimes, the maid of honor is the witness in the signing of the marriage license.

How do you make a good speech? – Now, it’s time to talk about the speech. The maid of honor speech is usually given at the rehearsal dinner, the reception, or both. Let your speech reflect your personality. Everyone’s speech will be different; you don’t want to end up saying something that doesn’t sound like you. You can start out by saying your name and identify yourself as the bride’s sister. Most people will already know you, but there will be a few who won’t (especially on the groom’s side). You can talk about what it was like growing up together and/or your love and admiration for her. You can even include a fun story about the two of you. Then you can talk straight to her- tell her how happy you are for her happiness and that you wish her and the groom a life full of joy! Then tell the guests to raise their glasses and toast to (bride’s name) and (groom’s name).  Remember, these are just suggestions, and keep in mind that a good speech doesn’t necessarily mean a long one. The most important thing is that it comes from your heart and represents you!

How can you calm yourself down? – Nerves can be hard to squash. If you are really nervous, I recommend writing the speech down and rehearsing it till you feel comfortable. If you want to read from the paper during the ceremony feel free to do so.  Take some deep breaths right before the speech, and then go for it! Talk directly to your sister, without looking at the crowd, if that feels more comfortable.

Congratulations again Jamie! I hope you enjoy your experience as a maid of honor!

When it comes to planning for your maid of honor speech you might want to take it more seriously than the bachelorette party you had to plan for. The bachelorette party should have been easy to plan for and put on, compared to your speech. Since you are the Maid Of Honor, you have many more responsibilities to handle and plan for, one being the Maid of Honor Speech. If you are like me, I freaked out when I found out I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding. I freaked out in excitement but also because I realized I had to give a speech in front of the hundreds of people coming to the wedding.

I honestly didn’t want to give the maid of honor speech at my friend’s wedding, but since it was my best friend I knew I had to suck up the nerves and get it done. It can be intimidating to stand in front of a crowd and pouring out your heart, the good times you had with your girlfriend and trying to keep the speech on topic, fun and enjoyable.

We have all been to that wedding where the maid of honor or even the best man gave a very boring and dry speech. There is nothing worse than listening to someone who hasn’t even prepared or know what they will say. I figured out that I wouldn’t be like that, and even though I am no professional speaker, I was able to give a great maid of honor speech at my friend’s wedding.

Here are a few tips that I followed that helped me process the speech and prepare for it:

• Step 1 -  Relax & Write. Find quiet time to just think and write down ideas, memories and funny stories. This quiet time will help you get your thoughts in order.
• Step 2 – Wait 1 Day. I found that if I wait at least one day, my mind will think up other memories that I would have forgotten to include into my speech. Sometimes if you just go on with your day, you will get random memories or thoughts that you can include into your speech.
• Step 3 – Start Writing. Now that times has passed and you remember stories, memories and have some ideas, start writing your speech. The easiest way to write your speech is to start from the beginning of your friendship. Talk about how you know each other, why you are so close, include stories about your lives together and how you would talk about your future husbands. If you have a funny story, include it. These funny stories or memories that no one else knows will help keep your audience involved and will help spice up your maid of honor speech.

As soon as you have your speech written out, start going over it to make sure the speech flows. If you forgot to add details, now is the time to add and subtract ideas. This is what really makes maid of honor speeches, a success. If you really know what you are going to say, it will come off as that. If you procrastinate and have no idea what you will say, people will know and your speech will be boring and dry. So be sure to put a lot of time and effort into writing out your speech. On the wedding day, I had my speech all written out, but I didn’t use my note cards because I knew that if I had the speech in front of my I would just start reading it. If you read your speech, it will be less personal and boring.