We receive questions almost daily and thought this question needed to be answered in a new post:
My name is Jamie and my sister chose me to be her maid of honor.. I am only 16!! I have only been to one wedding in my entire life and i was the flower girl… when i was 6!! I have no clue what to do or what to expect, I’m a nervous wreck. I blow it off like I’m not nervous in front of my sister, but inside i am all messed up.
- What do I do?
- What should i expect?
- How do you make a good speech?
- How can you calm yourself down?
First off, congratulations on being chosen to be a maid of honor! It is a special honor, although it can feel overwhelming at times. I understand your nerves, but just know that you can do this! Often the maid of honor puts more stress and pressure on herself than the bride would ever expect. Be determined to enjoy this experience and not allow stress to take away from the fun of it! The overall job of the maid of honor is to be a support and help to the bride in whatever area she needs. It could be anything from helping her make invitations to wedding dress shopping. Offer your sister your assistance, and let her know you will be there for her.
What do I do? – Typically, the maid of honor is the one who hosts and plans the bridal shower and bachelorette parties. You can throw the shower at your own home or a friend’s. Ask your sister who she would like to invite. I wouldn’t suggest making the list of invites on your own because you don’t want to risk leaving out someone important to your sister. Include where she is registered on the invitations. A bridal shower usually includes food, a few games and the opening of presents. Make sure you have someone writing down who each gift is from-this comes in handy later when the bride writes her thank you cards. The maid of honor is also responsible for throwing a bachelorette party-a celebration of the end of single-hood. This usually happens a week or two before the wedding. Often, it will be just a few days before and can depend on how tight the wedding week schedule is. Again, consult your sister regarding the best time and the list of guests. Usually, the bachelorette party is a smaller group, including the bride’s closest friends. Remember, you don’t have to do this by yourself! Feel free to ask the other bridesmaids for their ideas and help.
What should i expect? – On the day of the wedding, help your sister get into her dress. Also help with her makeup if needed. On her wedding day, the bride should not be bothered with extra details or questions. You are the barrier between your sister and anyone else. If you don’t know the answer to the florist/caterer/DJ’s questions, find someone who does (usually the wedding coordinator). All throughout the ceremony (especially before she walks down the aisle), it is your job to make sure that the bride’s train and/or veil are straight, and not a tangled mess. There’s nothing worse than a bride tripping on her own train! You will hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony. Oftentimes, the maid of honor is the witness in the signing of the marriage license.
How do you make a good speech? – Now, it’s time to talk about the speech. The maid of honor speech is usually given at the rehearsal dinner, the reception, or both. Let your speech reflect your personality. Everyone’s speech will be different; you don’t want to end up saying something that doesn’t sound like you. You can start out by saying your name and identify yourself as the bride’s sister. Most people will already know you, but there will be a few who won’t (especially on the groom’s side). You can talk about what it was like growing up together and/or your love and admiration for her. You can even include a fun story about the two of you. Then you can talk straight to her- tell her how happy you are for her happiness and that you wish her and the groom a life full of joy! Then tell the guests to raise their glasses and toast to (bride’s name) and (groom’s name). Remember, these are just suggestions, and keep in mind that a good speech doesn’t necessarily mean a long one. The most important thing is that it comes from your heart and represents you!
How can you calm yourself down? – Nerves can be hard to squash. If you are really nervous, I recommend writing the speech down and rehearsing it till you feel comfortable. If you want to read from the paper during the ceremony feel free to do so. Take some deep breaths right before the speech, and then go for it! Talk directly to your sister, without looking at the crowd, if that feels more comfortable.
Congratulations again Jamie! I hope you enjoy your experience as a maid of honor!
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
my name is kristin and myhalf sisters chose me to be maid of honor.,and im 12 and don’t really know my sister,or the groom.Please help me her wedding is on may 1st.i was a flower girl when i was five,and know im a nervous wreck.
Hey Jamie,
I hope that your sister’s wedding was successful and beautiful!
I’m in the same position that you’re in and I found this article very helpful. My sister’s wedding is in October and she just got engaged in april. Her fiance lives in Pennsylvania and us, living in Tennessee, is very hard to plan things. She decided that I’m going to be the only one in her bridal party. I’m only 17 and have only been to one wedding. My sister is having the wedding in Pennsylvania and the reception in Tennessee. It’s going to be very hectic.
Think being a 16 year old Maid of Honor is bad? My friend’s mom is getting married and she is the Maid of Honor at 12.
this is awesome
im 15 and my sister is getting married and I’m the MOH
by the time of the wedding i’ll be 17
but im already helping her plan.
i am pretty nervous about the speech, since I don’t like public speaking, and it will be in spanish.
if my aunt would hold the wedding 2 months later then i would be 15 but no im stuck being the MOH at 14. mine has 2 be in spanish and english.
Im 17 and my sister did the same thing! im so happy i saw this link, i thought it was a rarity, but obviously wrong. hahah but im so excited thankss and god luck to alll of yall. yay!!
hey everyone, i’m the guilty party. i got married at 20 and asked my sister to be my MOH when she was 16. well, now it’s my turn! my friend asked me to be her matron of honor and now i’m trying to remember all the stuff involved.
just remember to be supportive of your bride and ask for help from the bride’s mom and other bridesmaids. a wedding (and all the stuff that goes with it) should never be planned by just one person. most people are thrilled to help out with a wedding.
I am the MOH for my best friends wedding and i am only 17 so i extremely nervous. i have never been a MOH before the only things i have ever been is a flower girl and a junior bridesmaid. on top of that i don’t have any clue on weather or not i have to make a speech. I don’t know what to do for her bachelorette party because most of her bridesmaid are 17 or younger, her sister is the only one of 18. someone please help me. I don’t know how to do a bridal shower.
Thanks this really helps out alot..im 18 and live in PA and my best friend is getttin married in less than 10 months and asked me if i would be the MOH. and she lives in TN. its gonna be really hard but im tryin the best i can to be a good MOH. we have already knocked out the MOH and bridesmaids dresses. soon comes her dress and we are really relyin on internet and phone to connect. i just hope her wedding turn out to be everything she hopes for.
Hi , im 14 And i really dont know what to do or what to expect as being the maid of honor can you help ?
omg im in the same boat as! but no im just as clueless as u.
This post was exactly meant for me. My sisters wedding is tomorrow & i’m Maid of Honor. (:
thats well and fine and all, but what if your the maid of honor at a young age and there are no bridesmaids other than you?
my sister wanted a smaller wedding and we promised to be each others mohs when we were both very small.
i’m 17.
hi! im kinda in the same boat but im 14 and a 1/2 its my aunts wedding and its in august. would i still be considered a jr. bridesmaid, because iv already been tht, and also what should i do?
hey, im only 17 and my 20 yr old sis told me that im her MOH, i love my sis and all, but the thing is im not good standing up in front of so many people and talking. the only other times ive been in a wedding was when my dad got married a second time and i was the ring bearer and when my mom got married for a second time, i was the flower girl.
how in the world am i gonna pull this off and make it the best day for my sis?
This really helped me out a lot! Thank you. I’m only 17 as well as my best friend but in a few months when she turns 18 she is getting married and I am her MOH. I am so nervous, but I’m there for 100% I’m already making cute ideas for her parties (Bridal and Bachelorette). I haven’t found out yet if I have to make a speech yet but I planned on writing one just in case. She is moving to Las Vegas at the beginning of June so I am trying to get as much of the planning out of the way before hand.. But that isn’t much time. What would be the best things to do before she leaves that way it isn’t too difficult to plan it from Tx and Nevada?