Welcome to The Maid of Honor Guide.com!
You are here because you’ve recently been chosen as the maid of honor in a wedding! It is a wonderful privilege to serve as a friend’s maid of honor, and one that not everyone gets to experience. You will serve as the bride’s ally, confidant, and right-hand woman throughout her wedding planning process. Depending on the bride and her needs, your role could be anywhere from extremely involved, accompanying her to vendor meetings and helping her make planning decisions, to simply being there to emotionally support her, listening to her vent about wedding issues and reassuring her when she is anxious or stressed.
If this is your first time as a maid of honor, you are a Nuptial Newbie and you have a lot to learn! If you’ve been a maid of honor before, you’re a Wedding Veteran; you know the drill, but maybe you’re interested in some new or different ideas for your maid of honor duties.
The Maid of Honor Explained
What’s the difference between the maid of honor and the bridesmaids?
As you surely know, the maid of honor is the primo position among the bridal attendants. The bride has chosen you most likely because she considers you her closest, truest friend, and because she believes that you will be there for her throughout the wedding planning process. One of the major roles the maid of honor should play is coordinating with the other bridesmaids. You can look at yourself as sort of the chair of the bridesmaid committee. Sometimes, members of the bridal party don’t know one another or live in different cities or states. In this case, they won’t just naturally gather together to discuss and plan events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. To help set your mind and the bride’s mind at ease and let her know that her honor attendants are all on the same page, consider emailing or calling all of the bridal party, and, if possible, arranging a small get-together with them. A great time to do this would be if all the maids get together at one time to look at bridesmaid dresses.
Take a look around our site and find tips you can use to help avoid some or the major bridesmaid rebellion issues, usually caused by being pressured or bossed around by the maid of honor (or the bride). Although you are in charge of coordinating the bridesmaids, it is important to make sure you are very diplomatic, encouraging, and positive in your communication with them. Remember, be especially careful how you word things over email-you don’t want the maids mistaking your sense of humor or playful sarcasm as bossy or mean. You’d be surprised at how many bridal party catfights get started by the simplest misunderstandings.
Your Maid of Honor Duties
Planning a wedding, for most brides, is often wracked with stress. Many of the factors that play a role in weddings are sensitive issues, especially money, family, and traditions. Plus, you must remember that in most cases, the bride is completely new at this! The goal of a wedding is of course a lifelong marriage; the caveat is that most brides have no experience planning such a large event, and they are likely to agonize over decisions like budget, guest list, vendors, food, logistics, and the list can go on and on. As maid of honor, it is very nice to let the bride know that you will help with whatever you can, and make suggestions for certain areas where you feel you could contribute. This could entail anything from helping decide what flowers to use or making phone calls to addressing invitations or running errands. Be as helpful as you comfortably can.
Now that you know how important you are to the bride’s sanity as the maid of honor, you’d probably like to know what responsibilities you have. The following are things that the maid of honor is expected to do:
- Coordinate with the bridesmaids. This could include keeping them informed about fittings, pre-wedding parties, or anything else they need to know.
- Host a shower with the help of the bridesmaids. This includes planning, setting up, and splitting the costs.
- Host, plan, and set up the bachelorette party with the help of the bridesmaids.
- Pay for your wedding day attire. This includes your dress, jewelry, and shoes. The bridal party is responsible for purchasing their own attire; occasionally a very generous and thoughtful bride will purchase these items for you, but don’t bet the farm on it.
- Help the bride shop for wedding dresses, or at least offer.
- Keep the groom’s ring during the wedding ceremony.
- Arrange the bride’s train at appropriate point in ceremony, if needed.
- Hold the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony vows. (Be sure to give it back before she trots back up the aisle!)
- Arrange the receiving line after the ceremony, if applicable.
- Sign the marriage license if needed.
- Toast the bride and groom if given an opportunity-this could be at the rehearsal dinner or at the wedding reception.
- Help where needed at reception; make sure bride has a chance to eat and drink something.
- Dance in the wedding party dance if applicable.
Now you’re ready to get started being a wonderful maid of honor. Whether you are a Nuptial Newbie or a Wedding Veteran, after reading through our site you will have the knowledge needed to make the bride’s wedding day stress-free, special, and memorable!
More Tips for the Maid of Honor